There is a term called Radical Acceptance. It is the ability to accept situations that are outside of your control, not resisting what one cannot or chooses not to change. You don’t have to agree, you do have to accept because fighting “WHAT IS” is exhausting and it gets you nowhere.

I hear other parents whose children have left say things like; “this is not fair”,” It shouldn’t be this way”, “we didn’t deserve this”…. Like I said, accepting doesn’t mean agreeing. It sounds like, “I’m in this shitty situation, I don’t think that it’s okay, but IT IS WHAT IT IS, and I can’t change that it happened”. It’s painful and it takes practice, but it’s the only road towards healing. If you ever hope to reconcile one day with you child, you need to look inward and accept what it and begin healing yourself. That way when the time comes, if your child and you do reconnect, you have both (hopefully) don’t the work necessary for a healthy relationship.